"Discarded Angels"

Homunculus just sent me some really fucked up video via e-mail of aborted fetuses that were dismembered and mutilated. I will not post that here. However here is a funny ass picture on the subject of abortion:

CSI One-liners

For those that watch CSI:Miami for only the first minute or so just to hear the cheese ball one-liner "crime-scene-intro-cumshot" before the song. It got to be funny enough for me every Monday that I started watching the stupid show (it is one of the best looking in HD though). Anyway, here is the "cumshot compilation"



"H" either puts on his sunglasses during that shit, poses special just to deliver the line, or they change the camera angle just for it. Also, any combination of those things.


Unrelated: Check this link on how much the US has become a Fascist, Police State

Check these too for funny piss:

motherfuck.com

lolpresident.com

Rejected Wii Play MiniGames

Some dudes made this shit. Nice job on the 3D piss. Fairly cheesy.

Gymkata

Also - Here's the Patrick Stewart clip where he's a pervert. (Embedding was disabled for this clip)

Say What?

Muse in GH3

Believe it or not, "Knights of Cydonia" will be a playable track in Guitar Hero III. They must make this game outside the US.

Reference the following video for those unfamiliar:

The blonde girl in video has asshole of seven year old.

Guess I'll have to at least rent GH3 when it hits in the fall to see what the hoopla is about this series of games. This time it will be out for everything including the Wii. My impression of the game has always been that its DDR for fat kids that want to stay fat.


Controller looks pretty gay to me.

I figure the next evolution of games will from a far make you look like you are sucking dick - Wii Suck should be out in December and have an Wiimote attachment filled with... well, you get the picture.




Also, I guess we won't see Muse in Hampton Roads ever again.

Corn on the Cob for NNTPNegro

The Slow Jerk

This shit is funny as fuck:

Stallone will be passing out free steroids for this one....

Rambo IV. What else can be said at this point? It wasn't enough that we had to endure the latest Rocky, or Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, or Battlefield: Earth. No. Stallone felt like on top of all this, we deserve another fucking Rambo movie. I recently had the "honour" of watching the trailer for this film, and I must say, I'm really hoping that if for some reason i see this in the theatre, I am completely fucked out of my mind. That's the best protection I could possibly give myself from this. At least Sly is going all out, decapitating motherfuckers while he sticks his thumb up his ass (shown above).


He then turns around and does this to a dude less than 5 feet away from him, with a 50 cal machine gun mounted on this jeep. The good thing is that the explosions and blood will be going nonstop. The bad thing is that we have to see mullet man on teh fucking screen. I don't know why he isn't out there, somewhere, driving a truck and arm wrestling. Fuck him and all of his ilk.

It will be just another pathetic attempt to get fat, stupid Americans into a theatre to watch 25 minutes of commercials and sit down for 2 hours with a tub of fucking lard and heated corn. This is why I laugh when these motherfuckers get all political.... I can't take any of them seriously, because they are all a bunch of fucktards...

Babality

Watch this one first, check the end:


Funny as shit...


NOW the REMIX of that same clip is PURE GENIUS:

Hitchens on AC360 talking about Falwell

This is fucking awesome:



I've got his book on pre-order from amazon.

What in Tardation?

Scottish Star Trek

Oh FUCK YEAH

Maybe he's in Heaven after all...

The tele tubbies are finally free to be gay!

In the land of gay there was much rejoicing, as teletubbie fans around the world can finally stop hanging their heads in shame. Jerry Falwell, not to be confused with Jim Bakker and Ted Haggard, has passed. His bloated, distended corpse will be on display this weekend in San Francisco. If he were a Catholic priest, a separate service would be held for his male victims.

Falwell was part of a dying breed; evangelists that hated the gays, without being gay themself. Falwell never did the Crystal Meth, as Haggard did, though I'm sure, like Bakker, he availed himself of many a gullible widow's money. Falwell stood on principle, unabashedly hoping to scare many a fag straight, make the black man white, and save as many unwanted children as possible, so they could know how it feels to live in this hell hole with nobody who loves you.

Many of my brethren are hoping that if hell exists, Falwell will surely find a nice warm spot in which to spend eternity. I would add to that, that he should have to endure the ridicule of Bill Hicks for every moment that he's not sucking Satan's cock. One day soon, Oral Roberts and Pat Robertson will come down, and they can get a double ended black dong, and they can do an all holes filled session with Liberace, Freddie Mercury, and Rosie O'Donnell.

Hell Haveth a New Tenant

And hopefully Pat Robertson will be joining him within the next few months, writhing in the eternal pits of fiery Hell alongside one another while being pissed on and slowly disemboweled by millions of undeveloped fetuses wielding sharp swords. You can call this an obituary if you'd like, but frankly I'd rather this be an opportunity to express my hatred for the Moral Majority and the negative impact it's had on Republicanism. Put simply: if the Christians hadn't fucked up the party, it would be awesome. My ass would be walking the elephant with pride. I don't need to go into specifics. We all know that Falwell and Co. made lots and lots of money telling us how evil faggots and babykillers are, yada yada... What pisses me off most is that since the moral bullshit became so important in the last few elections, it distracted America from the real issues- like how Bush is a fucking jackass who makes all Americans look like assholes to the whole world. His pandering to Falwell and Robertson was an embarrassment and it was noticed globally. The Bush administration isn't solely to blame- lots of GOP fuckheads prayed alongside this suckafuckagus corkhogger. Lots of obese soccer moms driving gaggles of tots to practice in their GMC Yukons masturbated at night to Falwell's brainwashing blabber while their third cousins spunked all over his new-edition gospel in their double-wides out in Zuni. Girls at Liberty University never had the pleasure of dating boys past their 8 PM curfew so they fingered each other in bombastic, experimental lesbian orgies....

Hallelujah!!!!!!

One Down, One to go...


The world got a little better today on the news that one of these dumbass evangelical motherfuckers has died.

Hope you preyed it up for that fucker real good cause he's gonna need it where he's going. I hope that even though it makes absolutely no sense for it to exist, that there is a hell so this fuck can burn in it. Good riddance to a real slime bag cocksucker.

In related news: On hearing of Falwell's fate, Larry Flynt reported enough feeling today in his lower extremities to feel when he blew his load on Hilary Scott, star of the "Britney Rears" series, who was sucking him off camera. It was reported that the resulting leg spasm propelled Mr. Flynt into the air to a full upright standing position at which the porn king shouted "Thanks Jerry!".



Flynt pictured here with Miss Scott

When asked about Falwell, Flynt replied: "That guy was a real fucking dickhead, and you know he had to have sucked cock. But you know, he gave Hustler the most free advertisement of all those bastards. Think of that the next time you rub one out!"

Them Golden Oldies...

I couldn't resist posting this, even though we've all seen it before. Click on the tard to watch...

Sometimes, Dead is Bettah....

The clinical term for her condition is called "internal decapitation"

The Kitty Alteration:

Today Kitty is at the vet. She has ho idea was she is in for. The previous three times were friendly visits. The most she got was a shot or two and maybe something shoved in her ass. She happily went into the carrier this morning.


This time its Spay, Front Declaw, and one of those RFID locater chips. She ain't been feed or watered since last night at 8, and they're keeping her overnight. I can only imagine how pissed off she is.

Yes, she is getting declawed, for some reason that procedure has become controversial in the past 10-15 years or so. Apologies to PETA, but in a couple of weeks, she won't give a rats fuck. In a year, she'll forget she ever had claws. Meanwhile, my window shades, couches, bedsheets, and lamps will thank me.

She might have a little trouble for a few days though:


Pic courtesy of ICANHASCHEEZBURGER

Update 2:55pm: Kitty out of surgery and resting. No issues reported. Pick her up sometime tomorrow, her release time is a judgment call by the vet.

Black Commentators make all the difference

The clip that follows is quite literally a python killing a goat by suffocation. However, this is all happening in Some Black Dude's House^TM, so it ends up sounding like one of the "skits" on a Wu-Tang album.



The very end has a chant that is about as insensitive as the "one, two, three, four" chant from "The Accused" with Jodie Foster.

The Homunculus Tumor:

Pre-op:



Of course, as we all know, the tumor had turned him into a negro.

The pigment is supposed to go away and his hair should go straight within a month. Good thing too, as no one likes bad credit. Also, the Ebonics-laden speech should start to come out more like english, due to the now increased blood flow to the brain.

In the meantime, theres always the "Nappy headed hos". Just wear a "jimmy hat", as they tend to be ate up with that AIDS.

Post-op (rough approximation):

Pic courtesy of a Fark Commenter
Please Note: Homunculus had reported "no tardation" so disregard above picture

A Fat Man Exposed

This is awesome!

I know some people who could probably win this thing. Homunculus, you like San Fran as I recall...

You and Nick should go with a bottle of Jergens and Curel and you will take San Fran because you're hard as nails.....

and yes, i know this pic sucks... get off your lazy ass and click on the motherfucker to see it in all its glory.