Friday, August 31, 2007

Haunted Houses Pack in Va. Beach Visitors: Frights Are Good Business at Virginia Beach


Aug. 17--VIRGINIA BEACH- From the roof of the Nightmare Mansion, a fiberglass skull as big as a Volkswagen glares down at beach tourists on Atlantic Avenue. Creepy music in minor chords drifts out of speakers.
For the $6 price of admission, customers can feel their way through a dimly lighted maze lined with ghoulish scenes and disembodied voices. Every so often, costumed employees jump out at visitors, shrieking.
"That puts people right on the edge," said owner Jim Johnson, with a grin.
For more than two decades, the resort strip at Virginia Beach has been home to two haunted houses, the Mansion in the 20th block of Atlantic Avenue and the Haunted Fun House in the 25th.
Busch Gardens they ain't, but the Beach's haunted houses have endured, outlasting countless more conventional businesses. Their owners say they are enjoying another killer summer.
"We have about 20,000 people a year go through here," said Mark Brownell, owner of the Haunted Fun House. "On a weekday in summer we might see 200 people, on a weekend day, 400. It's a good small business. Sometimes we have to lick the balls of city officials while we finger their cornholes, but it's all worth it."
Some families come through, but the typical customers are young couples and large groups of rowdy young African-American men, Johnson said. Most enter on animalistic impulse, their curiosity aroused by the music and elaborate outdoor decorations.
Johnson, a 62-year-old former nightclub owner, is a lifelong fan or horror movies (his favorite is "The Exorcist"). During the off-season -- the Mansion is open from March 1 until after Halloween -- he attends haunted-house trade shows to pick up exhibits and tips.
"You really have to love this kind of business in order to be in it," he said.
Brownell, 52, a former band director at a private school, said he bought most of the furnishings for the Fun House at a liquidation sale after a haunted house closed at Disney World years ago.
He said he opened the Fun House not out of any particular love of horror films or stories, but because it's a good business. In the past two decades, he said, he has become a student of what scares people. He often waits by the exit door to ask customers how they liked the place and what scared them most. Sometimes he smacks up cocky black children.
On a recent afternoon, two young visitors from Tazewell emerged wide-eyed.
"Oh my gosh," said Ki'equanyiah Gillespie, short of breath and with beads of sweat on her forehead. "It just scared the bejesus out of me. I was so terrified of the 15 year-old whiteboy in an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt and Jason mask. Now where my fucking refund?"

Richmond Times-Dispatch, August 17, 2007 by Bill Geroux,

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Seen on boingboing
























and here's a link to the original

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

OUTED


I hope you were enjoying your own private Idaho in that restroom, Craig. Word is you were plunking for brownfish in an airport shitter. Your senatorial cock was stiff and ready to impeach some lubrication. But all jokes aside, it's so nice to hear that you're NOT gay. I was worried there for a second, when it was revealed that you playfully swiped your grimy hand into the next stall, brushing an undercover cop's leg as he shat. Man, if you were joking around, you really had us convinced in that police report! Whew!

I've been telling y'all for years how dumb South Carolina chicks are...

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children."

Friday, August 24, 2007

This took balls

If we would have tried this sort of thing coming up, one of us would have died. Looks fun as fuck though...



(Yes, it was on Gizmodo)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

If business meetings were like internet forums

This shit was pretty fucking funny.

18


"Fuck the cheerleader, cream the world..."





Legal in all states...


You can officially bang the Cheerleader without ending up on Dateline. (Unless you pull a lotion/basket scenario)

That is if you don't think the following:



(Of course, her being on TV/Movies and all, this doesn't make her too fresh, maybe she's had roughly 30 discrete cocks so far (5 black). Still... thats FAR FEWER than the rest of the flat-out SLUTS whose image is regularly captured via corporation-furnished CCD, CMOS, or cellophane. It's a wonder most of them can break themselves away from the cock long enough to act.)

Better than all the boy bands of all time. (and on the same level of retardation)



I like how they changed the lyrics to "Take on me"

So wrong its funny, so funny its wrong.

They call themselves "The New Wheels On The Block"

And theres more...



There are still even more clips on youtube, but you get the point...

Live Fugazi in DC

Found this on some story about 25 bands that need to get back together... check it the fuck out.


Monday, August 13, 2007

One of the biggest "Naw Bros" of our time



I can't stop laughing at this shit.

God Bless the Internet



You know you would hit it.

300 page iPhone Bill

Apparently even though you are not charged beyond the normal AT&T unlimited data fee + other regular fuck-you-in-the-ass cell charges, AT&T itemizes every fucking thing you do. All the whiz-bang shite that the iDildo makes easier has popularized smartphone functions for the non-business user. Peep this hot chick's box:

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Friday, August 3, 2007

Corey Feldman breaks the hard news to Corey Haim about the Lost Boys Sequel

Can you say washed up losers?



This is from the new reality bullcrotch, "The Two Coreys", on A&E.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Resident Evil 5 Racist because it is set in Africa



You decide. I think it looks bad ass. I mean who wouldn't want to fire off a few rounds at a mob of angry ni... Ahem... bla... Ahem... African-Afr... THEY'RE JUST MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIES OK?

Update: Now people are saying that its offensive to poor people.
Point me to a rich city in Africa...