Showing newest 34 of 39 posts from September 2007. Show older posts
Showing newest 34 of 39 posts from September 2007. Show older posts
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Oh noes, we lost another good one!!
Here's a link to piss on...
But here's the story... note that his claim to fame is that he broke the "Screech" sex tape.
David Hans Schmidt, a celebrity story and photo broker who pled guilty in an extortion scandal involving Tom Cruise, has committed suicide, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned.
The 47-year-old Schmidt was found in a shower stall at a North 21st street condominium in Phoenix, AZ. "He hung himself, and the shower stall was so small, he had to squat to get the job done," a source familiar with the situation said. Schmidt asked Cruise for $1 million to return stolen wedding photos and was arrested in July. He pled guilty to transmitting threatening communications with the intent to extort. Schmidt was facing up to two years in prison. He was contacted by Marc Lewis Gittleman, 33, who had obtained the wedding photos after recovering them from a damaged computer hard drive brought in to his place of employment for repair by a photographer. Schmidt emailed Cruise with samples of the photos, and asked for more than $1 million to keep them off the market. But Cruise's reps set up a sting with the FBI and Schmidt was arrested in July. Schmidt had brokered some of Hollywood's most infamous deals in recent years, including the Dustin Diamond (Screech on "Saved By the Bell") sex tape, Tonya Harding honeymoon sex tape, Paula Jones nude photos, a Colin Farrel sex tape, compromising photos of Jamie Foxx and other top-shelf scandals.
Friday, September 28, 2007
1.1.1 bitches
On the iFuck front, niggas at the Fruit factory peeled out a new jizzmop for the iPiss. This shite is sly, and won't skin yo balls as much as 1.0.2. Adds the following fuckstickers to the cunt:
Wi-fi iTunes sto - to rob a nigga
Louder earpiece - to hear a nigga
Bugfixes - to massage a nigga's balls
Plus, those crazy niggas done fucked up all ya'll bitches usin the shit worldwide, unlocked with non-negro SIM card, and apps not pissed on personally by my nigga Steve Jobs. So...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
P.S. Now all I want is a real Gmail app, or Gmail to tweak their web for iPhone. Plus - Give a fucking game or two goddamnit...
AND INSURANCE...
Wi-fi iTunes sto - to rob a nigga
Louder earpiece - to hear a nigga
Bugfixes - to massage a nigga's balls
Plus, those crazy niggas done fucked up all ya'll bitches usin the shit worldwide, unlocked with non-negro SIM card, and apps not pissed on personally by my nigga Steve Jobs. So...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
P.S. Now all I want is a real Gmail app, or Gmail to tweak their web for iPhone. Plus - Give a fucking game or two goddamnit...
AND INSURANCE...
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Like a tampon thief, he had to pull some strings...
If you can get over the fact that its a "webcam rap", and dude is a dork, shit was still funny on second listen, so I posted the shit.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
They are alive today because of Homunculus...
Thank God Homunculus told the Virginian Pilot about Blackwater's evil ways...
Blackwater's Illegal Arms Trade? - I CALLED IT
I wrote this comment on Thursday Sept. 20th and submitted it to Pilot Online:
Undeniably Embarrassing
"Not only is the involvement of overpaid military contractors in Iraq an even further embarrassment to our country in the eyes of the world, Blackwater is a crooked organization down to it's roots, evidenced by their undocumented trading and handling of military-issued automatic weapons, their inadequate training facilities, and overall their thirst for money. The vague contractual law addressing Blackwater's overseas jobs protects them and discourages legal ramifications in the event of massacres like this. It's also common for them to protect one State Dept official at the expense of several civilians, because they are all ex-Army NRA members eager to jump at the chance to fire their weapons, even if it's indiscriminate. All for a 60-90k payday. - Brody St Nichols - Norfolk"
This morning, September 22nd, guess what the headline on both CNN and Virginian Pilot was:
BLACKWATER DENIES IT'S INVOLVED IN ILLICIT SALES
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Federal prosecutors are investigating allegations that employees of Blackwater -- the security firm accused of killing up to 20 Iraqi civilians -- illegally smuggled weapons into Iraq, according to U.S. government sources.
Security operations by North Carolina-based Blackwater USA, which is hired by the U.S. State Department to guard U.S. staff in Iraq, were suspended this week amid concerns by Iraqi and U.S. government officials over the shootings in Baghdad last weekend.
Normal operations resumed Friday, the State Department said.
A U.S. government official said the U.S. attorney's office in Raleigh, North Carolina, is investigating individual Blackwater employees -- not the company -- for illegal weapons deals.
A company source acknowledged to CNN that two Blackwater employees were fired for buying guns with Blackwater money and selling them without the consent or knowledge of the company. It was not clear where the arms were bought and sold.
According to the source, the company caught the two employees and turned them over to the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
The two, described as having military and law enforcement backgrounds, were fired in 2005, the company source said. The source asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the matter. The first public hint that an investigation was under way came earlier this week in a statement from State Department Inspector General Howard Krongard when he was accused of blocking fraud investigations in Afghanistan and Iraq.
"In particular, I made one of my best investigators available to help assistant U.S. attorneys in North Carolina in their investigation into alleged smuggling of weapons into Iraq by a contractor," Krongard's statement said.
The flow of illegal weapons in Iraq has been a major concern in recent months.
The State Department and Pentagon launched their own investigation following complaints from the Turkish government in July that they had seized American-made weapons from the PKK, a Kurdish group considered a terrorist organization by the U.S.
CNN has received no confirmation that the probe of PKK weapons and the investigation of Blackwater employees are connected.
Iraqis were outraged by the shootings last weekend, which created new tensions between the U.S. and Iraqi governments. Iraqi officials dispute the U.S. claim that the guards were responding to an attack.
DUDE I THINK I MAY HAVE SINGLEHANDEDLY BLOWN THE WHISTLE ON THESE FUCKS...
Undeniably Embarrassing
"Not only is the involvement of overpaid military contractors in Iraq an even further embarrassment to our country in the eyes of the world, Blackwater is a crooked organization down to it's roots, evidenced by their undocumented trading and handling of military-issued automatic weapons, their inadequate training facilities, and overall their thirst for money. The vague contractual law addressing Blackwater's overseas jobs protects them and discourages legal ramifications in the event of massacres like this. It's also common for them to protect one State Dept official at the expense of several civilians, because they are all ex-Army NRA members eager to jump at the chance to fire their weapons, even if it's indiscriminate. All for a 60-90k payday. - Brody St Nichols - Norfolk"
This morning, September 22nd, guess what the headline on both CNN and Virginian Pilot was:
BLACKWATER DENIES IT'S INVOLVED IN ILLICIT SALES
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Federal prosecutors are investigating allegations that employees of Blackwater -- the security firm accused of killing up to 20 Iraqi civilians -- illegally smuggled weapons into Iraq, according to U.S. government sources.
Security operations by North Carolina-based Blackwater USA, which is hired by the U.S. State Department to guard U.S. staff in Iraq, were suspended this week amid concerns by Iraqi and U.S. government officials over the shootings in Baghdad last weekend.
Normal operations resumed Friday, the State Department said.
A U.S. government official said the U.S. attorney's office in Raleigh, North Carolina, is investigating individual Blackwater employees -- not the company -- for illegal weapons deals.
A company source acknowledged to CNN that two Blackwater employees were fired for buying guns with Blackwater money and selling them without the consent or knowledge of the company. It was not clear where the arms were bought and sold.
According to the source, the company caught the two employees and turned them over to the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
The two, described as having military and law enforcement backgrounds, were fired in 2005, the company source said. The source asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the matter. The first public hint that an investigation was under way came earlier this week in a statement from State Department Inspector General Howard Krongard when he was accused of blocking fraud investigations in Afghanistan and Iraq.
"In particular, I made one of my best investigators available to help assistant U.S. attorneys in North Carolina in their investigation into alleged smuggling of weapons into Iraq by a contractor," Krongard's statement said.
The flow of illegal weapons in Iraq has been a major concern in recent months.
The State Department and Pentagon launched their own investigation following complaints from the Turkish government in July that they had seized American-made weapons from the PKK, a Kurdish group considered a terrorist organization by the U.S.
CNN has received no confirmation that the probe of PKK weapons and the investigation of Blackwater employees are connected.
Iraqis were outraged by the shootings last weekend, which created new tensions between the U.S. and Iraqi governments. Iraqi officials dispute the U.S. claim that the guards were responding to an attack.
DUDE I THINK I MAY HAVE SINGLEHANDEDLY BLOWN THE WHISTLE ON THESE FUCKS...
BOO YAH!
Wii would like to play Metroid.... but fucking can't.
Yeah, so I went out tonight, picked up the new Metroid, and came home hoping to plop my fucking ass down on the couch for a few good hours of pissing on Samus' face. However, I was denied that pleasure, because I bought a launch Wii and a nontrivial number of those fucking boxes won't play Metroid Prime 3.
You can look through the seven pages of shite here if you want to.
Now, nintendo is going to take care of this for free, which is cool. But why the fuck do i have to send my box in? God dammit, this should be fixable via firmware. And the fuckheads that developed this game had better hope it blows me the fuck away when i get my wii back, because if not, I will make it my crusade in life to label them entertainment infidels, and take as much money out of their pockets as my cock can manage. Oh, and by the way, next time you develop a fucking game, test it primarily on the oldest version of that fucking console. Assholes!
You can look through the seven pages of shite here if you want to.
Now, nintendo is going to take care of this for free, which is cool. But why the fuck do i have to send my box in? God dammit, this should be fixable via firmware. And the fuckheads that developed this game had better hope it blows me the fuck away when i get my wii back, because if not, I will make it my crusade in life to label them entertainment infidels, and take as much money out of their pockets as my cock can manage. Oh, and by the way, next time you develop a fucking game, test it primarily on the oldest version of that fucking console. Assholes!
Friday, September 21, 2007
This fucking cracked me up...
First watch this clip that has been going around for a while, explaining how to extract AA batteries from a Lantern Battery:
Now, this dude's response:
So there it is... A bunch of bullshit
Most use 4 "A" size
Now, this dude's response:
So there it is... A bunch of bullshit
Most use 4 "A" size
Thursday, September 20, 2007
iPhone redux a.k.a. "I gots me one"
Justification #1. I bought a month ago the HTC Mogul from Sprint which is supposed to be the best Windows Mobile Phone. Despite being full of features, Windows Mobile sucks ass, and so does using a stylus for everything including DIALING THE FUCKING PHONE!
Justification #2. A - I bought the HTC mogul, and B - It is on the business account from where I work. C. They paid for it. and D. Someone else in the company wanted the HTC Mogul. - So somehow I magically was able to get rid of my HTC Mogul AND port my number to AT&T without the sprint cancellation charge of $200 changed to me or the company.
Justification #3. The iPhone price drop. $200 fucking dollars. Plus, I bought an 8 gig refurb, so thats $50 more off. $350 and not a scratch on the thing. Plus it got a second look from Apple techs...
So, lets revisit this fuck:
Photo Courtesy of Maddox----------------------------------------
#1 Shit that can't be fixed by software update:
No 3G data* - Not as bad as you would think. EDGE works pretty fucking good compared to Sprint's EVDO, but Verizon's EVDO still kicks the ever-living shit out of it.
No GPS chip- Really doesn't come into play unless you are Micheal Douglas in "The Game" and wake up in a coffin in Mexico. Otherwise, there is third-party software that can access AGPS, but whether they will incorporate this into Google Maps, who knows. Same functionality, but it ties up the line while getting location data.No data and voice at the same time - It will I believe stop the data to ring the phone. If not, a software update will fix this shit.
Recessed headphone jack* - So recessed, it needs an adapter for like 70% or more headphones on the market. What the fuck? To protect the jack? Just don't make the fucking thing out of PLASTIC! Why even bother with a fucking standard plug then, why not "mini-usb plug #5 rev.C". - STILL FUCKING GAY - My brand new BOSE QuietComfort 2's plug will not fit.
No other hard buttons other than volume.* -No changing tracks in pocket or anything else by feel, must always consult screen - I smell a visualtard court-fuck in apple's future. This is why i have an iPod Nano too, I will not be taking this phone to workout.
No video output - you can play video out to TV via the iPod, but not the iPhone - (SERIOUSLY) - Firmware 1.1.1 will fix this later this month
Non-removable battery* - classic apple, but if it's sealed, should have made the whole phone waterproof. I should be able to properly piss on this thing. I mean, how much does a fucking O-ring cost? - STILL GAY
AT&T only* - and GSM (At&T(cingular), T-mobile, nTelos) in general in the US, call guality, coverage, and call drop rate worst in this bullfuck nation. They make it so you can't change the SIM, have fun getting fucked in the ass roaming overseas and not buying a prepaid SIM to talk cheap within europe or where-the-fuck-ever. A whole new version of the phone needs to be built to support CDMA (Verizon, Sprint, Alltel), and the best 3G data, EVDO. (GSM has 3G too, called HSDPA, its out there, all the other smartphones have it). - ALL GAY, but call quality is better than Sprint it seems, but expecting it will drop calls more, again EDGE not bad at all.
-----------------------------------------------------
Has bluetooth, but No A2DP*(stereo headphone) bluetooth, no phone-as-modem(with edge though who cares), no syncing via bluetooth* or WiFi (as people might assume). - I am so fucking sick of gay ass bluetooth profiles not being used (when did I buy the Moto V710? 2004? - the original bluetooth raped phone) Don't care anymore. HTC Mogul did all of this shit, used it 0 times
Photo Courtesy of FarkNo using songs from your "ripped" song library on iPhone for ringtones* (SERIOUSLY) - Had to BUY the first track of Aphex Twin's Richard D. James Album that I like to use, select the segment I wanted as a ringtone, then BUY THAT. That pretty fucking gay since the last four phones I have had I just found a way to upload, drag-to or send my custom mp3 ringtone to the phone. Thank science it was on the "Music-Label-Approved-for-ringtone-use" list. But you know, $2.00 for something I have kept the same for now five phones is not bad.
No flash or javascript support in the web browser*. (youtube is done via a seperate app, and you can only see video they have converted to h.264 - only 10,000 of all clips currently) - This is fucking gayer than 8 guys fucking 9 guys, as every site worth going to uses these things in some capacity, you just may not clearly know it like you did back when websites were using it in 1995. Javascript is there, still no flash
No visible filesystem* (can't save anything to do anything with later - ex. send as e-mail attachment etc.) (SERIOUSLY) 4 or 8Gig of space and all obscured from view. - STILL GAY
One photo attachment per e-mail limit* - See above for gayness
On screen keyboard is a too small and you must rely on the "autocorrection" to help you out. - THIS IS COMPLETELY INCORRECT. USING THE "RELEASE" METHOD MAKES THIS THING KICK ASS.
"Visual Voicemail" is not quick, but just a graphical frontend for a call to check your voicemail. This lags considerably since its just feeding commands over the phone to AT&T. The fix would be for the phone to download the messages in the background as MP3 or AAC files, and then they are played back locally on the device. - THIS IS ALSO WRONG, MAYBE THEY FIXED IT IN 1.0.2, BUT THE SHIT IS RESPONSIVE, AND IT DOES DOWNLOAD LOCALLY. I FOUND SHIT QUICK TOO.
Begin "Still Fucked but trivial to me except games"
---------------------------------------
No SDK(software development kit)* - they ain't got one, and until they do, you will only have the apps that apple makes. (and forget your NES*, SNES emulators* for now.)
No J2ME runtime - the vast collection of apps and games for every cellphone on earth pretty much runs on J2ME. You think they gave the "internal" SDK to Sun?
No Games - Is that ever fucking cute... another thing in common with the mac...
No IM clients*. - but really, FUCK IM
No picture messaging*. - also, could not give a fuck about this
No video, stills only right now from the camera*. - last two phones I had did video
No voice dial - my last 3 phones had this.
No 64-bit MS windows support - another reward for those crazy bleeding-edge fucking people. Hope they enjoy dual-boot, or VMware/Parrallels w/USB passthrough. I don't really have sympathy.
----------------------------------
End "Still Fucked but trivial to me except games"
----------------------------------
#3 Other shit that I/other business users would like it to have:
I had all of the things listed in the other article and more on that HTC Mogul. I'll tell you, honestly it didn't matter. The exchange activesync through the internet was cool but thats it. Bottom Line: The iPhone gets e-mail and makes calls well. It can view Excel, Word and PDF attachments. Safari seems to render faster than Opera 8.6 for windows mobile. If I really need to do some heavy work, I'll open the fucking laptop and pop in my Sprint EVDO card...
Like I was really gonna VPN + remote desktop and scroll around on the 320x240 screen of that mogul for anything other than novelty...
BOTTOM LINE:
THE INTERFACE IS IMPORTANT. VERY IMPORTANT. IF THIS INTERFACE HAD A CUNT, I WOULD FUCK IT...
A NICE INTERFACE CAN BE PERCEIVED AS MOSTLY COSMETIC ON A PC, BECAUSE YOU USE A KEYBOARD AND MOUSE ON WHATEVER OPERATING SYSTEM, BUT A TOUCHSCREEN SMARTPHONE HAS TO COMPETE WITH THE HARD, QUICK TO USE, DEDICATED BUTTONS OF A REGULAR PHONE .
(WHY DO YOU THINK NEXTEL IS STILL IN BUSINESS - THEIR FUCKING PHONES ARE LIKE THEY ARE FROM 1995 - GUESS YOU STILL GOTTA WORK UM TANKED ON BUDWISER AND METH DOWN AT "THE NASCAR")
WINDOWS MOBILE IS CUMBERSOME AS SHIT. THIS iPISS IS EFFORTLESS. NO STYLUS...
NOW AT THE NEW PRICE, I CAN RECOMMEND THE SHIT... SO JIZZ ALL OVER IT IF YOU GET A CHANCE. IT'S ONLY MONEY...
P.S.
1. Firmware 1.1.1 will let you turn off international data EDGE roaming to save you from high ass bills if you travel.
2. Although no insurance can be had on this phone for accidental damage from AT&T or Apple, I was able to get coverage from State Farm for $30 a year.
3. They make Handbrake for PC now, making it easy to get a DVD into iPod H.264. Just use DVDShrink or DVDDecrypter to DeCSS those DVDs and dump them to a folder, point Handbrake to that and let it chew on it for a while. Still looking for something that will take other types of video files and do the same to them.
4. Font sizes are all over the fucking place on this post. Its called cut and paste in "compose" without much regard for underlying HTML. Fuck you I'm lazy...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
The new one... with a smurk that does Tom DeLay proud...
How old is this motherfucker now? Negro still breaking the law. Only one little problem now asshole, Johnny Cochran is dead...
Of course this time you didn't slice two motherfuckers' throats until they were jus' about decapitated... One of those being the mother of your two mocha children.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Just in case the first one wasn't enough...
Yes, this asshole made another video.
Yes, this new video made it to the frontpage of digg again.
No, they are not really brothers, just fucking gay.
Yes, it is just as lame as the earlier one...
Hopefully we can all stop paying attention to this now, and go back to eulogizing dead evangelists, talking smack about each other's moms, and generally being less gay.
I feel dirty just knowing this guy is alive...
Yes, this new video made it to the frontpage of digg again.
No, they are not really brothers, just fucking gay.
Yes, it is just as lame as the earlier one...
Hopefully we can all stop paying attention to this now, and go back to eulogizing dead evangelists, talking smack about each other's moms, and generally being less gay.
I feel dirty just knowing this guy is alive...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I will now start an online movement to get this faggot fucktard to kill himself
I know this has been going around the net, and I think I saw a clip of it ON OUR FUCKING LOCAL NEWS but...
This shitfuck is human waste ("he" is talking about Britney Spears in this clip):
Makes you want to dig Bin Laden up from his grave, give him a nuke and say "If you don't fucking use this on us now, I will cover you in pigs blood, and fuck your mother in the asshole with a knife..."
I cannot stress this enough "man"... KILL YOURSELF!!!
When he actually does kill himself, look forward to a post marking that. You're officially on notice kid...
This shitfuck is human waste ("he" is talking about Britney Spears in this clip):
Makes you want to dig Bin Laden up from his grave, give him a nuke and say "If you don't fucking use this on us now, I will cover you in pigs blood, and fuck your mother in the asshole with a knife..."
I cannot stress this enough "man"... KILL YOURSELF!!!
When he actually does kill himself, look forward to a post marking that. You're officially on notice kid...
The Jacksons of West Virginia
SEPTEMBER 11--A black West Virginia woman was sexually assaulted, stabbed, and tortured while being held captive by her white abductors, one of whom told her, "That's what we do to niggers around here." The 23-year-old victim was freed Saturday after cops responded to the home of Frankie Brewster for a "welfare check on a female that was reportedly being held against her will." When cops arrived, Brewster claimed she was the only one home, but then the victim limped to the door and said, "Help me." According to six harrowing criminal complaints, the woman, who apparently had been held for more than a week, had four stab wounds in her left leg, bruised eyes, and had been repeatedly sexually assaulted and humiliated. The woman told police that she was forced to lick Brewster's "toes, vagina, and anal cavity." Brewster's son Bobby forced the woman to eat dog and rat feces, according to one complaint filed in Logan County Magistrate Court. The victim, who is now hospitalized, was raped at knifepoint, choked with a cable cord, and had her hair pulled and cut during the ordeal. Police, who have arrested six defendants for their roles in the abduction and attack, are looking for other suspects who may have lured the victim to Brewster's home. The arrestees are seen in the below mug shots. Pictured clockwise from the upper left are Frankie Brewster, 49; Bobby Brewster, 24; Danny Combs, 20; George Messer, 27; Alisha Burton, 22; and Karen Burton, 46.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Happy 9/11!
The day our freedom died...
Oh please... save us from the comic book "evil doers"
Yes, I can accept a few less freedoms for security...
Bring on Patriot Act II, III, IV... Until...
"Wait, what do you mean the punishment for no seat belt is an RFID chip in the crotch inserted through my DICKHOLE!?!?!?!!!"
"Props" go to all the contributors on Fark, and elsewhere on the intertubes for these here images. If this offends anyone, then... "Welcome to the Internet!" bitches...
Oh please... save us from the comic book "evil doers"
Yes, I can accept a few less freedoms for security...
Bring on Patriot Act II, III, IV... Until...
"Wait, what do you mean the punishment for no seat belt is an RFID chip in the crotch inserted through my DICKHOLE!?!?!?!!!"
"Props" go to all the contributors on Fark, and elsewhere on the intertubes for these here images. If this offends anyone, then... "Welcome to the Internet!" bitches...
Monday, September 10, 2007
Fucked up Aphex Twin video
Found this piss earlier tonight... if you look carefully you will see the monkey's drum stick cock, or drumdick.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Some Ron Paul Goodness
Here is some Ron Paul in case you haven't heard him.
Yes, the embed link seemed to put the video in stretch-o-vision. If you stomp the arrowed penis in the bottom right, it will unfuck itself in a new window/tab.
Yes, the embed link seemed to put the video in stretch-o-vision. If you stomp the arrowed penis in the bottom right, it will unfuck itself in a new window/tab.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Real Domain Name
So... spent the $9.15 (per year - got one year for now) at godaddy and got us www.wouldyoulikeasandwich.com
So now we are so fucking special...
wouldyoulikeasandwich.blogspot.com will still always work and redirect to here, but blogger fully integrates, so the real URL is www.wouldyoulikeasandwich.com now. Blogger doesn't however have the flexibility to accept both with and without the www. I am hoping godaddy will get back to me with a redirection method that works with blogger. I tell you what though, its cheap ($9), but because of that you really have to look to uncheck all the shit they want to sell you on top of it and newsletters and such when you get it. Config is like any other domain registrar (easy). I have edited the WHOIS data to keep us anonymous as well.
Anyway, piss all over yourselves, we can now tell people to just goto www.wouldyoulikeasandwich.com
