Random Shit for last day in October

Original "You gonna get raped" guy has more pics

Piss all over this=====D-------

Tiny ass car

Top gear is the shit. I really need to get off my ass and download all the seasons of that show and watch them. Don't know how long this will last on YouTube, being BBC property.

It's called the american dream, cause you have to be asleep to believe it...

This is a a clip from the best part of the last George Carlin special, edited together with some applicable images:

Wierd shit FTW

This is just all kinds of piss



Update: Fixed - Found another posting of the same video on YouTube

Magazine Apologizes to Portman Over Film Mix-Up

UPDATE: A U.S. magazine has been forced to apologize to actress Natalie Portman after suggesting she's far from happy with her performance in short film Hotel Chevalier. Sunday supplement Parade stated Portman was talking about the movie, in which she appears nude, when she commented about an "uncomfortable" scene she shot in a forthcoming essay she wrote for the publication. But the actress' publicist, Kelly Bush, has pounced on Parade, insisting her client was actually talking about a torture scene in new film Goya's Ghosts. A statement from the magazine's publicist reads, "We say that Portman regrets doing a nude scene in the movie Hotel Chevalier. This is wrong. When Portman writes about this in Parade, she does not mention a specific movie title. She tells us she was referring to a torture scene with a body double in Goya's Ghosts, which was taken out of context and leaked onto the Internet. Portman is very happy with Hotel Chevalier and proud of her work in the film." In her essay, Portman admits she is still rather upset about agreeing to do something she felt awkward about, writing, "I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more."

Previously reported: Actress Natalie Portman insists she'll never bare all on the big screen again after regretting a saucy scene in new short film Hotel Chevalier. The shots of the actress baring all in the film hit the internet earlier this year - months before the movie hit festivals in September. And Portman admits she's rather upset about agreeing to do something she felt awkward about in the Wes Anderson-directed prelude to The Darjeeling Limited. She says, "I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."

Thank God - looks like she'll continue to appear nude in art films and I will still be able to fap to new Portman nudes in upcoming years....

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is fap to Natalie's bare ass on a Thursday night after must-see TV.

300 Spartan Apples

Growing On Me

Sorry, I had to share this because I actually recorded a cassette from a burned CD of In Rainbows, which I listen to every day since my shitty car has no CD player....

Piss

Yes, I know you've already seen this, NNTP.

A Recipe for Thursday

Today I have procured a shank of Peruvian goat loin, which I slaughtered at dawn upon my driveway. I began by reducing the innards of the goat in a healthy naguri (eel) stock with elephant garlic and pulverized Saulieu truffles. The slick eel skin reduced into a pungent gel in a seperate sauceson, and after simmering for several hours, I combined both potions and poured in one-quarter cup of synthetic, high-grade motor oil. I refrigerated this potion for another hour. Meanwhile, I rubbed the shank of goat in an herbal mash of sage, rosemary, thyme, cracked pepper, and antelope mucus. I slit my index finger slightly and basted it in my own blood, then I basted it again in a little slick eel sauce. I threw the shank into the crematorium next to my dead grandfather's ashes, and then buried it in flaming cedar chips and fescue from my lawn. While the meat was roasting, I sliced eight shallots in my mandoline and threw them into an iron skillet, upon which I added many thin slices of foie gras that eventually melted into a curdling mess of fat. I stirred in the cream of a feral marsupial jackrabbit from Queensland, and simmered the lactate glob until it thickened around the edges of the pan. I scraped the coagulated sickness from the vessel with a rubber spatula and put in the fridge. Several minutes later, I urinated into a teaspoon and tested the saltiness of my waste. Perfect piss. So, without hesitation, I pissed into a can of Brahmaputra muuligatwany bisque and stirred in several decomposed sparrow gizzards and a pinch of kosher salt. I pulled the eel potion from the fridge and dipped my testicles in to test the temperature. Too warm. Another five or ten minutes. I removed the shank from the crematorium with gilded iron pliers after dusting off the flaming debris and sat it on the counter. I basted it in the slick eel sauce once more and returned it to the inferno. I left the room for five minutes to masturbate violently in my closet. When I returned, I lugged the shank out again and went to work. It was time to prepare the dish for serving. First, I sliced the goat shank into 2-centimeter slabs and arranged them into a spiral on each plate. I then coated them in slick eel sauce and doused with a cloud of granulated brown sugar. I poured the gizzard bisque into bowls and drizzled with some semen from a jar I had recently filled. I removed the lactate marsupial lard from the fridge and sculpted an albatross with the now-hardened collodial filfth and four toothpicks. On each plate I placed an albatross in migration position, and dusted the wings with cayenne pepper to evoke the color scheme of mating waterfoul plume. Finally, I garnished the soup with a sprig of mint and the entree with small tufts of fescue emerging from cubes of mashed mungbean.

- JOhn Auberjonois, Executive Chef, "Il Fait Beau"

Sainte-Marguerite, France

Fury at DNA pioneer's theory: Africans are less intelligent than Westerners

Link to full piss, but here's my favorite quote from the story...

Dr Watson told The Sunday Times that he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really". He said there was a natural desire that all human beings should be equal but "people who have to deal with black employees find this not true".

Random Vids

Laugh at this one:



Kill kittens to this one:

The ultimate throat-fuck compilation

By JIM SALTER, AP Business Writer Mon Oct 15, 2:36 PM ET

ST. LOUIS - The people who brought you the Monster Thickburger and the 1,100-calorie salad are at it again — this time for breakfast.

Hardee's on Monday rolled out its new Country Breakfast Burrito — two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. The burrito contains 920 calories and 60 grams of fat.

Brad Haley, marketing chief for the St. Louis-based fast-food chain, said the burrito offers the sort of big breakfast item normally found in sit-down restaurants with an added advantage.

"It makes this big country breakfast portable," he said.

In 2003 the chain introduced a line of big sandwiches, including the Monster Thickburger. The 1,420-calorie sandwich is made up of two 1/3-pound slabs of beef, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered bun.

Even Hardees' chicken salad — topped with onion rings and crispy chicken — has 1,100 calories and 83 grams of fat.

The chain does offer some low-calorie options, including roast beef and chicken sandwiches.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington-based advocate for nutrition and health, has called the Hardee's line of Thickburgers "food porn."

The group's senior nutritionist, Jayne Hurley, said Monday the burrito was "another lousy invention by a fast-food company."

The "country breakfast bomb," as she called it, represents half a day's calories and a full day's worth of saturated fat and salt, to say nothing of cholesterol.

"That's all before 10 o'clock in the morning," she said.

Haley makes no apologies.

"We don't try to hide what these are," he said. "When consumers go to other fast-food places they feel like they've got to buy two of their breakfast sandwiches or burritos to fill up. This is really designed to fill you up."

The government's Center for Nutritional Policy and Promotion recommends a daily caloric intake ranging from 1,600 calories for sedentary women and older adults to 2,800 calories for teenage boys and active adults. Hardee's sees its core customers as young men ages 18 to 34, Haley said, though it expects a wider range for breakfast items.

The Country Breakfast Burrito is generally available for $2.69 by itself or $4.09 for a combo that includes hash rounds and coffee.

- GIVE ME TWO OF THESE FUCKERS COVERED IN GRAVY AND MAPLE SYRUP AND I'LL WASH IT DOWN WITH A HALF PACK OF CIGARETTES AND SOP THAT SHIT UP WITH A BISCUIT, THEN BANG THE SHIT OUT OF THE FAT BLACK GIRL WORKING THE REGISTER, USING THE FRIED CHICKEN GREASE AS LUBE. WASH, RINSE, REPEAT. I'LL START WHEN THEY OPEN, FIGURE I COULD BE DEAD BY 9AM...

R.I.P. Sizzurup

Big Moe, a Houston rapper whose 2002 album reached No. 3 on Billboard's hip hop charts, has died. Big Moe, whose real name was Kenneth Moore, was 33. He died Sunday afternoon at Houston's Ben Taub hospital after being hospitalized for more than a week, said Bryan McLeod, a spokesman for the county public hospital system. McLeod did not release a cause of death, but numerous hip hop Web sites said the obese rapper suffered a heart attack.
Big Moe, who rapped and sang, was a member of the late DJ Screw's rap collective the Screwed Up Click. DJ Screw died of a heart attack in 2000 after a reported overdose of codeine-laced cough syrup. Big Moe often rapped about the drug and the titles of his first two albums made reference to it. His first album was called "City of Syrup" and his most successful offering was 2002's "Purple World," for the color most often associated with the drug. Big Moe's top two singles, "Barre Baby" and "Purple Stuff" were odes to the drug. He also released a third album, "Moe Life," in 2003.
He is survived by his loving hoes and his forty-seven children (est.) and has endowed his favorite charity, Rainbow Trust, with several thousand bottles of generic Robotussin and a truckload of Jolly Ranchers.

Shit still gay

Sure, YOU may think it's less gay the longer that cock has been in your ass, but really your shit has just been impacted. Sooner or later, that particular dump will be expelled from your rectum.

The fact is, you can overlook people's shortcomings, whether it be that they are queer, black, muslim, mexican, french, or those remaining handful of goddamn jewish eskimos. If they show excellence in their field, that other shit only matters if you catch an STD.

However these motherfuckers phoned this one in during a cockfest jizzgargle. It's bland as shit. This lack of innovation makes the gay shine at 160kbps, a higher bitrate would only make your prostate bleed...


"At first you've got it, then ya lose it..."

Therefore I made a fucking Thom Yorke "You gonna get raped" from scratch, instead of posting found shit from the net...

...and you goddamn skippy I'm proud...

And Black Sean is too...

An Apology to The Prism's Ass Refraction

OK- I was completely wrong about the album. I really wanted to be the first person to review In Rainbows so I stayed up all night on 10/10 and I was tired as hell when I listened to it at 3:30 AM. Sometimes, when I sit at my computer in the wee hours, I slightly hallucinate. That night, I must have had some kind of waking dream about being gangraped by well-coiffed munchkins or whatever. In my somnabulant stupor I must have mistook the album for a living nightmare. In reality, my vitriol-laden review was probably the result of exhausion, latent homophobia and way too much Red Bull and diet meds. I re-listened to it about seven times since last night, and I've gained a new appreciation for the gayness. "Bodysnatchers" is one of the best tracks they've put out in years. I also liked "Reckoner" and "Jigsaw Puzzle Falling Into Place." There are some really inventive chord progressions in almost every song, and Thom Yorke decauterizes his vocal range occasionally to sweep the stardust over the dead spots. Though I still consider it one of their weaker efforts, there are at least six songs on In Rainbows that kick the Holy Ass of Christ. Therefore, I respectfully withdraw my earlier review from the record. I'll leave it up for a little while because it makes me laugh when I realize how tired I was when I wrote it.

Radio gayness

Ok, guys. I've enjoyed both your reviews quite a bit, but I can't bring myself to label this new Radiohead album quite as gay as you have. Is it awesome beyond belief? No. Should they have done much better? Hell yes. Does it make me want to register as a gay pedophile after multiple listens? Not at all.

Does this mean I believe it to be totally without the gayness? Again, no. Gayness certainly does smell in the air at some points in this album. But then, have we ever thought Thom Yorke to be totally straight?

I've listened to it three times so far and have managed to not molest any of the young boys in my neighborhood. I will have to listen to it more to actually give an opinion other than "not completely gay, guys" ...

I am thinking about putting the Rainbows picture I posted earlier up as album art, though, in iTunes. This would at least ward off any homosexual vibes while I listen to it at the computer.

I agree with Homunculus's review, and will now piss on it further for the (gen)children...

First, read his review..scroll down or click this link





After listening through twice at work, this new album lives up to its name. It is, FUCKING QUEER, through and through.

Click Image to be "Rick Rolled"

This album was like if you made Phish play with dildos duct-taped up their asses, on a pink triangle stage, rolling on X, to a bunch of priests, in a Vatican-style rape room.

It's the other guy from WHAM.

It's the Fonz at the very apex over the shark.

It's the traditional 7 shades of queer - (all brown with different tints of red).

If you took "Belle and Sebastian" and made them fuck "The Decemberists" while listening to "The Bravery", turkey baster'd the resulting jizz into the ass of Micheal Stipe, THAT anal baby would be this record.

It fluffs for pre-80's gay Peter North.

It makes Franz Ferdinand sound like Zach de la Rocha.

It's the dude who indiscriminately licks the girl in the gangbang after some have finished. - (example @ 2:28 of this - NSFW)

It CAN suck that golf ball all the way through that garden hose.

It WILL NOT have the common courtesy to give a reacharound after fucking you in the ass.



Despite the above. I find this NOT FUNNY. This is like watching "Norbit" after watching "Trading Places" and "Coming to America". Radiohead has been caught with their own transvestite hookers.



Heres a little something to offset the queer (and maybe that Houston 620 video link above) we have been exposed to this morning:



(Ain't got much on the work machine)

FUCK YOU RADIOHEAD!

But, Like Homunculus, I'll listen to it some more and see if it gets any better...

Pedalhead?

First, I must lead with this

This is the funniest picture I have come across in a while...

World's First Review of In Rainbows-10/10/07, 5 AM

This morning at 03:30AM EST, a link was sent to be by waste.com leading me to the new album by Radiohead, In Rainbows. I usually don't like to review an album until after I've heard it several times, but I'll make an exception in this case. My story begins when I logged on to Radiohead's site several days ago and paid 7£, the eqivalent of $15.01 US. I figured I've fucked them in their constricted British anuses for at least seven years, having downloaded every album beginning with Kid A. Also, I respected their release strategy very bloody much, as it was the worst blow dealt to the recording industry since Napster clinically sliced open the RIAA's penis with their peer-to-peer braces and headgear in 2000-2002. Anyway, it's a rare event when I'm guilted into a consumer-related exchange, especially since the termination of my Visa-bought marriage. So, I followed my special link, downloaded the album in about 29 seconds (their server must be some kind of herculanean behemoth akin to W.O.P.R.), and played the album.
It was, in a word, gay. Did I actually just call my favorite band gay? Yes, I believe I did. Each song sounded exactly like what you would hear if you were bound, gagged and raped by anorexic emo transvestites in the cushioned rear portal of an Oscar-Meyermobile. No songs harkened back to The Bends or OK Computer. Not a single track had enough blood coursing through it to lift a limp wrist and wipe the cum from your tethered brow. It sounded like the fey whimper of a band past it's prime. It was heartbreaking because the last three albums counter-balanced their gay shit with pulsating, rip-roaring, mathematically complex, less-gay shit. When Thom Yorke sounded too gaytarded, Greenwood would program a synthetic, exuberant guitargasm to swallow the faggotry and make the song the towering aria it should have been. Not so here. In Rainbows sounds thrown together, like a bunch of b-sides EMI demanded they not release. Much of the album is their typical atonal mumbling accompanied by dissonant whirrs and jingle bells. Several of the songs will lull you to sleep before you can even make blade-to-wrist contact. Unlike in other albums where Yorke controlled his wailing pretentiousness in the spirit of ensemble, here he shamelessly belts out his gayness like an orphaned Viennese choir boy left to fend with one angry inch. It's cloying, boring shit to be sure. Something to sip a smoothie to with your adopted Laotian son, perhaps, sans cool umbrella. I'm sure I haven't given In Rainbows a fair chance yet. I should re-write this review in a week. But if I listen to it one more time I'm gonna need to re-register with GLAAD and have my ass scoped for lesions.
Well, I hope this review was useful. NNTPNegro, you will download the album without paying a dime, listen to the first 15 seconds of each song, log onto WYLAS, and reply to this review with your own criticism. Just don't bash their last three albums, because until this morning Radiohead did not suck ass. Pedalhead, you'll likewise download without paying, because you're a cheap jew bastard, so I might suggest clearing the room and lubing yourself with scented oils, light some aromatic candles, draw the blinds, strip to your silk boxers, massage your petertom, and enjoy the album.

RadioPiss

Just a reminder for fellow blog negros:
New radiohead album comes out online on the 10th. (In just two fucking days)

Go here to pre-order the download to get your code:
http://www.inrainbows.com/
In case you did'nt know, its whatever you want to pay for it. To pay nothing, put all zeros in. Or you can show more support and pay something.

Random Images for Friday

Pisssssss











On Thisssssss