Two days after the world is all caught up in worshiping the last celebrity death - a has-been homosexual pedophile, hellbent on self-disfigurement which included changing his race, who hadn't made a good album in 20+ years, spending the last 10 years in hiding before more than likely overdosing his frail, weak, faggot body on prescription painkillers - there is another(Yoda voice)...
MOTHERFUCKING BILLY MAYS DIED TODAY!
Apparently yesterday he was on a flight, that on landing the front tires burst. This bounced the passengers around quite a bit but everyone seemed fine. Something must have happened to Billy though, as he didn't wake up this morning.
The worst part? I don't have one product sold by Billy Mays. In the grand scheme this would be fine if I didn't actually have a set of ShamWoW. So, basically I somehow was motivated to buy from that dude Vince that beat up that hooker, but not Billy.
He did beat the hooker after I bought the ShamWoW, and I bought the ShamWow at Bed/Bath/Beyond(gay) on impulse, not over the phone while watching the commercial.
That's still no excuse for not having some Oxy Clean, Orange Glo, Mighty Mindit, Mighty Putty, Kaboom, or the AwesomeAuger in the house, as some of those are available at retail and placed in checkout areas.
Maybe there will be a Billy Mays Box Set on Amazon in a week or two where you can get it all for $29.95.
So.. Peace the fuck out...
R.I.P. Billy, I promise not to get the Slap Chop...Here's some infomercial bloopers featuring the fool:
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